School Jokes [Very Hilarious]

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!


TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”


TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile”?
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L
TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
GLENN : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O (H2O)!


TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!


TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, “I am.”
MILLIE : All right... “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”


TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : “My Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”


TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
LOUIS : Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!;


TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

here comes the mallu

Enough of Sardar jokes……………..Mallu jokes are
here!!!!!!!! !!


1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire? He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday? An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis
dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting,
folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where
"


17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea
shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of
kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana
Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN
bones....

Deadly PJs

1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??

Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )








Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI

Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)









Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)

Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener










Q4. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'.
Which movie did he really want to see?


Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!









Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!










Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho....... ........


Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).







Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?


Ans:- adidas







Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv
falls into the well. Why ?


Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!







Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.

Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!







Want one more...








Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??

Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans - D'cold













Q10. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? this is
quite simple..

Ans:- D'Cold again kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi













Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi -
Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon?


Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.













Ek aur..










Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe













Q13. kamal ,vimal do bhai the,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai
vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???


Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!













aur chhaiye...theek hai










Q15. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus aai
aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata Qyo???


Ans :- Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha













aakhri sawaal ....













Q16. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the...bus aai aur Pran
chad jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???



Ans :- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye